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Kids Say the Darndest Things

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Based on Art Linkletter's bestselling book. Book and lyrics by Robert Johanson. Music and lyrics and orchestration by Albert Evans.

Product Code: K03000

  • Musical
  • Comedy
  • Cast size: 2m., 2w., 1 either gender, expandable as desired.

Rights and availability
This title can be licensed and sold throughout the World.

* Please note the royalty rate listed is the minimum royalty rate per performance. The actual royalty rate will be determined upon completion of a royalty application.

$10.95 /script

Min. Royalty Rate: $90/perf

In stock


If you want a play that will keep your audiences in stitches—this is the play for you. Concocted from the actual zany and oddly wise things that kids under the age of 12 have said, this rollicking entertainment covers all the bases: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" "How did your mommy and daddy fall in love?" "Do you have any pets … brothers … sisters … secret ambitions?" "What would you say to the president?" It is filled with the innocent wisdom that comes out of the "mouths of babes" and reminds us to look at the world with a kid's view. This amazingly simple and flexible play can be performed with or without music—with a large or small cast. It is based on the hilarious best-selling book Kids Say the Darndest Things by Art Linkletter, inspired by the TV show House Party which ran 26 years, hosted by Mr. Linkletter. This number one bestseller sold over 4 million copies, not to mention the numerous sequels. Adults or children can play the kids' roles. There is also a singing chorale that can either be performed by the kids themselves or an added chorus. This very funny family entertainment will be vastly enjoyed by your audiences. Get ready to laugh, laugh, laugh, when Kids Say the Darndest Things!


On page 81 beneath the song title "Give Us Wings" should read: (++++without music—chant the "Give Us Wings" lyrics and sing "America the Beautiful" [page bottom] a cappella under).


  • Status

    In stock

  • Type of Show Musical
  • Product Code K03000
  • Cast Size 5
  • Min. Royalty Rate $90/perf
  • Cost $10.95
  • Approx. Run Time 90 min


  • Target Audience Young Audiences | Middle School | High School | College and Adult | Family (all ages) | Senior Adults
  • Performing Group Elementary School | Middle School | High School | College Theatre | Community Theatre | Professional Theatre | Touring Group | Dinner Theatre
  • Genre Comedy
  • ISBN(13) 9781583422625
* Please note the royalty rate listed is the minimum royalty rate per performance. The actual royalty rate will be determined upon completion of a royalty application.

Customer Reviews

"This was a great fun show. The kids and the audience loved it. This is a great show for high school, good for small or large programs."
Review by Karen Baker, Holy Trinity Academy, Melbourne, Fla.
"Great showÑthe kids had a blast. We had an adult play the host and the students enjoyed this aspect. The audience seemed to enjoy as well!"
Review by Jan Rice, Creekland Middle School, Canton, Ga.
"Kids Say was a wonderful experience! I mixed children with adults, and the results were wonderful. Audience members loved it!"
Review by Mary Sparks, Gilmer Arts & Heritage Association, Ellijay, Ga.
"We used Kids Say the Darndest Things as part of a summer youth theatre camp. The script provided kids with acting, singing, and dance opportunities. The students greatly enjoyed doing the show and their parents were very pleased with the experience the show provided their children."
Review by Mike Solomonson, Northland Pioneer College, Snowflake, Ariz.
"The production was excellentÑfull houses every night. Christmastime was perfect for this type of playÑa real family show with audience members 5 years old to 100 years old. We had a lot of fun. Sets and costumes were easy and cheap to produce. So few stage directions allowed the direactor and kids to have a ball! Audiences loved it!"
Review by Stephen Taylor, Ingersoll Theatre, Ingersoll, Ontario, Canada

Hints, Tips, and Tricks

"We costumed everyone in 50's-style clothes except the chorus. By using kids 10 to 16 years old we were able to expand on kidlike behaviour and costumes without worrying about line retention (from younger children). Adults played adult roles."
Tip by Stephen Taylor, Ingersoll Theatre, Ingersoll, Ontario, Canada



Kids Say the Darndest Thingsmp3Download
Mind Your Mannersmp3Download
The Mystery of Historymp3Download
Tingles in My Heartmp3Download
Give Us Wingsmp3Download


File Description File Format
Performance PosterpdfDownload

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