Stealing Home (Digital Script)

"You can't judge a book by its cover!" Cecil tells Officer Doughberg as he tries to explain why he and his partner, Pug, were caught in a funeral home in the middle of the night. He figures to confuse the policeman with fast talk and mumbo jumbo. Actually, they were there to heist a few trinkets, which is what Doughberg figured all along. What nobody figured on was Beulah Meadows, the owner of the place, showing up and recognizing Cecil as her long-lost son, Jimmy Meadows, who vanished from an amusement park some 25 years earlier. This, of course, comes as a tragic shock to Beulah's daughters, who were just about to sell the funeral home for quite a bundle. "We'll have to get rid of him," intones Gretchen, the oldest daughter, "one way or another." Before you know it, the place is overrun with other-worldly sisters, whining lawyers, policemen, psychiatrists and nuns! Is Cecil really there to help out his would-be mother? Or is he sticking around because he has a crush on Joan, the mortician? And is Cecil really Beulah's long-lost son? Find out in this frantic farce when two con men set out to lift a few pieces of silverware and end up Stealing Home. Brought to you by the author of Monday Always Leads to Murder and Death and Taxes.