The Excuser (Digital Script)

Welcome to America's hottest new reality show—"The Excuser!" Everybody knows that there's an art to a good excuse, and nobody knows that better than the billionaire—or maybe that's millionaire?—Harold (or Maude) Clump. Clump, who has never met a day with good hair and so has hair assistants on constant standby, holds "The Excuser!" competition in a storage room—no, boardroom, it's a boardroom!—of the Clump Tower (and, sure, you can call three stories a tower). Clump prizes a good excuse because that's how fortunes are made. But when Clump hears something that doesn't fly, it's time to send the competitor home with the trademark (yes, the trademark papers are in the mail!) phrase "That's no excuse!" The contestants are a mixed bag to be sure. There are the cheerleader identical twins who have the odd distinction of not really looking alike. There's the kid who always seems to have his head in the clouds and the other kid who can't stop talking. But what hope could the exchange student have, especially since nobody can understand a word he (or is it she?) says or even what country the student is from? Whatever the results, The Excuser is sure to bring home the laughs to your audiences, but if not, surely there's a very good reason—or excuse.